God is Single

Since moving to New Mexico, I constantly get asked one question over and over - and over. No, its not “Red or Green?” Instead I’m asked, “Why aren’t you married?” I seriously get asked this at least once a day (It doesn’t help that I work with about 2000 people ).

The answer I used to give is “I’m just not ready yet” however, that never seems to satisfy their salivating minds…So instead of just walking away as they turn their heads to a 45 degree angle like a confused puppy, I have started to get creative. Blame it on habit.

Here are some of my favorites when asked:

• Just lucky, I guess.
• Because I just love hearing this question.
• Marriage is easy - 2 million people do it every year - I mean hell, every three minutes a marriage takes place in Las Vegas (don’t forget I work at a Casino)…ask me why I don’t do something hard - like become a Neurosurgeon!
• Well, I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
• Why aren’t you thin?
• I’m married to my career, although recently we’ve been considering a trial separation.

Now - I didn’t make all these up on my own (I do still have SOME single friends…) nor do I feel I am the first person to give these replies. We also decided to google a few - if you EVER have some self-humiliating spare time, try it out.

The really funny part? When I typed “what to say when asked “why aren’t you married?” it gave me “Did you mean: What to say when asked “Why ARE you married?” hehehe. True story. The best one I found online was a great one for my younger sister -

• Because having a child and a spouse would be redundant.

I’m not saying I would use these come-backs when my Grandmother asks the age-old question - but for everyone else, it has at the very least made them laugh (or they think to themselves, “its remarks like THAT why she is not married…”).

BTW - It’s green.