Business in the front - Party in the back

No - I’m not going to write about some funky new sex position (sorry to say the “S” word, dad), I was referring to hairstyles. I was talking to a great friend of mine today and decided I finally had warn him about my new hair color as I will be visiting Denver this up-coming weekend.

A few weeks ago, I went to get a new hair color - Copper/Red with Blonde highlights. Well, as I am known to do, I researched and researched where in NM to have it done. Rules? Had to be an Aveda Salon, had to be located in a hip area, and had to come with top-notch references (and some people say I have too high of expectations. No, really - they do…). After weeks of searching I found the crowned jewel, award winning and all! Let me beat you to the punch-line - Crowned jewel of crap!

There was this young girl, we’ll call her Snatchafrass, who looked like she just stepped out of the 80’s but probably hadn’t even been born in the decade she so proudly represented (“Regan, who? Wasn’t he on Laguna Beach?”).

I digress - So she underestimated how much red she needed to make (twice), and consequently thrust three different colors of red upon my cringing scalp. The bottom two weren’t that bad they kinda clicked and looked “radical“. Now the roots - well, lets just say our “tubular” Snacherella created a Bozo the Clown stunt double. I “totally freaked!” The real “heinous” thing about it? Even after I complained she said to me “That’s going to be $145.” “AS IF!”

I didn’t pay her. And the Bozo color, like the clown himself, has faded into obscurity.

Wow, for some completely unknown and unrelated reason, I have an unbearable desire to watch Bill & Ted….and use words with the letter “U”….

:) Sweet dreams
-H

God is Single

Since moving to New Mexico, I constantly get asked one question over and over - and over. No, its not “Red or Green?” Instead I’m asked, “Why aren’t you married?” I seriously get asked this at least once a day (It doesn’t help that I work with about 2000 people ).

The answer I used to give is “I’m just not ready yet” however, that never seems to satisfy their salivating minds…So instead of just walking away as they turn their heads to a 45 degree angle like a confused puppy, I have started to get creative. Blame it on habit.

Here are some of my favorites when asked:

• Just lucky, I guess.
• Because I just love hearing this question.
• Marriage is easy - 2 million people do it every year - I mean hell, every three minutes a marriage takes place in Las Vegas (don’t forget I work at a Casino)…ask me why I don’t do something hard - like become a Neurosurgeon!
• Well, I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
• Why aren’t you thin?
• I’m married to my career, although recently we’ve been considering a trial separation.

Now - I didn’t make all these up on my own (I do still have SOME single friends…) nor do I feel I am the first person to give these replies. We also decided to google a few - if you EVER have some self-humiliating spare time, try it out.

The really funny part? When I typed “what to say when asked “why aren’t you married?” it gave me “Did you mean: What to say when asked “Why ARE you married?” hehehe. True story. The best one I found online was a great one for my younger sister -

• Because having a child and a spouse would be redundant.

I’m not saying I would use these come-backs when my Grandmother asks the age-old question - but for everyone else, it has at the very least made them laugh (or they think to themselves, “its remarks like THAT why she is not married…”).

BTW - It’s green.