Like a horsefly on the wall...

So another fabulous weekend away with Eric! We wanted to spend more time with Heidi & Jack after a quick visit on the way home from the St. James, so we decided to weekend in Taos! Eric had a pretty stressful week, so I decided to book us a room at the El Monte Sagrado Resort. You seriously need to check this place out!! www.elmontesagrado.com. We stayed in the “Painted Horse” Casita (I’ll get to the name later). Here is a pic of the room:

Needless to say, it was exactly what we needed to relax! As soon as you walk in they have calming music playing on their Bose sound system. We had some time before meeting up with Heidi, so we got a nice bottle of wine and relaxed to tranquil music and the cozy atmosphere…at least until I noticed the eerie painting in the room.

The room is named the Painted Horse because there is a very large painting of horses on the far wall. Now - I hope the room is named after the right horse because he does, indeed, look very calm and serene. However, the disturbing part is the horse on the left. He is biting - BITING - the calm horse… Not kissing, or nudging - BITING! All the while he is staring directly at you…or me as it was and this made me quite uneasy… I asked Eric to take a photograph with the angry painting. Here it is:

Every time I looked at the picture I couldn’t help but laugh that something so unsettling could be in such a magical room. Strange thing is, I kinda miss the painting - and I would perhaps stay in that room again JUST FOR the painted horse! Anyways - the Eggs Benedict is wonderful there too! I would suggest getting it with the tomato and avocado added.

It was wonderful visiting with Heidi, Jack, Avery, and the cats! They were very hospitable and Jack is always a wonderful cook! We had a great time at Joseph’s Table, too. Unfortunately, nothing went as I planned it to; Jack was unable to be our waiter, they didn’t have my Kale and Sashimi, and they didn’t have my main course….Not even one course had the mashed sweet potatoes! Luckily, and very generously, Joe, the chef, made some special just for me!

Wonderful weekend and what a wonderful start to the New Year! Now I just need to find a better environment to work in, and I will be set!

Bye!

...and the call was coming from DOWNSTAIRS!

This past weekend, Eric and I took our first trip together. What would be more fitting than to a haunted hotel, the St. James in Cimarron, New Mexico. Eric has been there before. He meets with his brother and cousin there about every other year, so it has turned out. According to Wikipedia, The St. James is one of the best known paranormal hotspots in the world, and one of the most elegant.

When we arrived, it was pretty late and they had already closed for the night. It definitely had that spooky factor - musty, old smell that drenched the antique furniture, the nameless faces in the old paintings staring at you as you walked by, the creaking staircase that almost seemed to sway beneath your feet.

Needless to say the evening started out in the saloon, and the next morning I was surely haunted by a massive hangover. I quickly realized I can no longer keep up with college kids (we were joined by Eric’s brother, Kenneth, his cousin, Dominic, and Dominic’s girlfriend, Sarah; all of whom are on winter break from school).

The first morning, the power went out for half the day. The winds were so strong all you could hear was a strange howling throughout the 19th century house accompinied by an unearthly scratching...actually it was pretty earthly, it was from the trees outside... Each of the rooms was named after someone famous who had stayed there. Eric and I were in the Annie Oakley room. Right down the hall, about 2 rooms away, is room #18. Supposedly the most haunted room in the hotel. It was padlocked and only the caretaker had the key. Maybe I can finagle my way in next visit. Eric said last time some drunk tried to get in by scaling the wall outside. He didn’t succeed.

It really was a great time. We played poker, drank and ate buffalo burgers. Eric and I kept going through scenarios of buying the hotel and how we could make it more profitable. I think we had some really great ideas - now we just need the 1.4 mil to make it a reality. Hehehe.

Here are some pics I took on the last day.

This is the whole group. (L-R) Me, Eric, Kenneth, Sarah, and Dominic. The elk was nameless.

Here is one of the creepy pictures scattered throughout the house.

This is not the Annie Oakley Room but it gives you an idea.

Meant to be me.

So another year is upon us. It feels like I missed the coming of the new year because I was at the casino passing out hats and blowers. I watched as the big screens counted down the final seconds and the guests plugged away at their machines seemingly oblivious to the thousands of brightly colored balloons falling from the ceiling. I could see my friend, Chris, the Players Club Host, on the microphone whooping up the year, smiling and making those around him smile too. I felt numb. I couldn’t believe all those people just sat and pressed a button. All the work that went into creating a memorable celebration, all the hours of prep, the unbelievable amounts of money, ME HAVING TO WORK NEW YEARS, and no one noticed. A few might have swatted away a balloon that fell into their screen view, but that was all the thanks they gave.

A redeeming point to my pointless night was that my BF was right by my side at midnight. He had been there 15 hours straight, but was right there sticking it out with me, because it was what I wanted. After midnight, he could see my disgust with the environment we were in and said, “Even though we are in a corrupt casino right now, there is nowhere else I would rather be than right here by your side.” At that moment, I could feel again. I could hear people’s cheers and laughter and looked around the room to see smiles on guests faces. I thought to myself, “Happy New Year.”


So, today I started thinking about all the possibilities I have awaiting me this year. About what I look forward to accomplishing in 2008. Since one of my “resolutions” is to share more of myself and my feelings, I thought I would share some with all of you (Although, I think Debi is the only one who reads this thing!).

This year I would like to:

1. To reiterate, share more of my feelings and myself with those I care about. I haven’t always been so closed off emotionally. I think that has only happened in the past five years and, perhaps, has grown out of control. For quite some time I have made it a point to never cry. So I may try to let that out more (I can imagine Heidi singing the “its alright to cry” song to me right now…). I also haven’t let anyone into my heart for a long time, and rarely share with those I love how much they really mean. I will make my efforts to change that this year.

2. I would like to start selling my handmade greeting cards. Even just on a small scale. I take such pride in paper crafts and card making and it might be time to share that with the world (for a price of course hehe).

3. Take full control of my health. From regular Doctor appointments, to the dentist (yes, Debi, I said the dentist), to full thyroid control…I think its about time. I am almost 30 and I can no longer be afraid of my own health.

4. Have a drastic change in my career. I love what I do, I just don’t love where I do it. I have few problems with the Casino itself, but my patients has grown very thin for elements within my department. I realize I can put up with a lot of things, but for the past year and a half I have only been torturing myself (and my family - as they are the ones who have to hear about my frustrations). My goal here is to thrust myself into the forefront of my industry in New Mexico within the next 4 months. I mean - get my name everywhere! My brother-in-law, Dan, had me join industry organizations and through that I have gained a lot of encouragement and advice on how to put myself out where NM can see me. What would be a really nice goal is to start my own design firm by the end of the year.

5. Toy around with event planning. I would like to know more about event planning as I really enjoy it and feel I may have a knack for it. I have been looking into a conference that is coming up that has a lot of great seminars. Maybe this could be a new career path??

6. I want to FINALLY clear the clutter from my life. My father has called me “Hector the Collector” from the Shel Silverstien poem of the same name, because I am a hoarder. I think I “collect” all this stuff because I am scared I will lose the memories associated with the objects. A lot of people don’t really understand how hard it is to get rid of something that holds so much meaning. I get their point of view, but I really think it is something psychological that it hurts me to let go. (Could have something to do with fear of abandonment). So, I have thought of 21st century ways to overcome that very difficult obstacle. I have a lot of poems or papers that either I have written or have been written to me. Scan it in, put it on a disc. I could easily fit all those boxes on one DVD. Now the larger items… so I don’t forget about them, or the memories associated, I will take digital pictures of them and put those on a disc too. Maybe even bring my love for scrapbooking into the mix and create a “scrapbook of clutter” and write why each piece is so important to me. Whenever I feel forgetful , I just open the album!!! I really want to clear EVERYTHING away so that I can have a clearer mind and let go of the past. Too much of my thoughts are wrapped around what was, to really move forward, I think I have to let go and make room for what will be.

7. Last but not least, Spend more time with my siblings. I have three siblings and we all live relatively close to one another. However it seems we grow farther apart every year. Like there is some strange “Step” fault-line that keeps shaking the ground and separating the bond we all once had. I think we all feel it, but as our family, unfortunately, sometimes goes - we don’t voice it (We love to use the word, passive-aggressive).
I remember a time when Allison and I were inseparable, or Rebecca and I would hang out in her room and get to the point of laughing so hard it hurt! I would really like this to be the year we re-discover how much we have in common. There will be a lot of walls to break down, in everyone’s court, but it will really be worth it. We became a family 15 years ago yesterday. I would like to make more of an effort to share our everyday lives with each other. To be sisters again. I know Heidi feels the same, and I hope Allison and Becca are up for the challenge as well :)

Hehe. So there is a sampling of what I would like to accomplish this year. Are you still awake?

Oh yeah - so I think I may have the ultimate Zombie escape plan! If they are after me, place a slot machine in their path! I have seen it day in and day out - stops them every time! Maybe zombies will start craving nickels instead of brains….think about it….

Tagged

So it looks like I have been "tagged" by Debi.
The following are five unusual or interesting things you may not know about me.

1. In my spare time, I think of ways to survive (for as long as possible) against a zombie attack. Whether its holding up in the specific venue I am currently in, or the inevitable risky escape from said venue once the zombies have entered, this seems like a viable use of my time. Until recently I thought I was the only one who would run these scenarios through my head, but as it turns out my boyfriend does the same thing (now thats a match you dont find often!).

2. I create Handmade Greeting Cards. I actually get a lot of joy out of making hand made cards. In fact, I am toying around with the idea of selling them online and in specialty shops in 2008. Who knows - maybe it will be such a hit I could leave my current job and create cards all day! Wouldn't that be nice? :)

3. In college my nickname was Skittles because of the "rainbow" of colors I dyed my hair. I would bleach my hair virtually white and dye it a new - unnatural - color EVERY WEEK! Its a wonder I have hair at all these days, and even more so that it is healthy! Perhaps it is the 8th wonder....that or how my parents survived my many shocking fashion choices throughout my teen years!!

4. Shortly after college, my doctor found a lump in my throat. After some painful investigation, it was discovered that I had Thyroid Cancer. When I was 23, I had half my thyroid removed (along with all the cancer). Now, at 28, I am finally realizing everything I went through and will continue to go through as a result of my condition. Even with the minor scares and the continual weight fluctuation, I have accepted my condition and look forward to controlling it better in the coming years.

5. I wear a very special ring on my right hand that I never take off. My sister, Heidi, made it for me years ago (she is a wonderfully talented jewelry artist). To me, it symbolizes my bond with my sister (when I wear it she is always with me) and my dedication to my family (few things in life are as important as family). It is a constant reminder of my values and morals and an emblem of my strength in what I believe is right.

Here it is - simple but it holds so much...

Seeing through my eyelids... Part 1

So today my co-worker gave me some advice he proclaims quite often,

“Never get married!”
He says this because, for whatever reason, he is constantly wrapped up in phone battles with his wife. Instead of just laughing at his marital anguish, I asked him, “Why not?”
He said, after some contemplation, “You just never truly see the person until you open your eyes, and sometimes that’s too late.” Now, I know he loves his wife and kids very much, and he said that out of pure frustration, but it did get me to thinking….

If I really opened my eyes to the men I date, what would I see?

Now, in hindsight, I can see what clear losers they have been. Not all in terrible “watch me bash my ex’s” ways, but losers non-the-less. This one had no ambition, that one constantly referred to himself as White Trash, this one thought the pun “camel-toe casino” (instead of camel rock casino) was the most ingenious thing he ever said.

Granted it was these things that made me finally dump the losers, but what about those few months I wasted my time and thought I was in heaven?? The, now embarrassing, times I thought "could this be the one?"

Well, I think I may be over self-inflicted humiliation! …at least this form… my pants getting caught in my car door will probably happen again whether I want it to or not….

Debi always tells me “You never know a person until they show you who they are.” Which is true - to an extent. I mean, I’m sure neither she nor my father were always perfect to one another. Everyone makes mistakes and cant be a great person all the time. Hell, I am not a great person all the time (quit nodding your head in agreement)!

So what should I look for in a man whom I am just starting to date? What are the GOOD traits (I know, speaking the same language, or at least understand each others, MIGHT be a plus - thanks…)?

More to come....what are your thoughts?

Soapbox for Two, Justice for One

I have had a rather trying week at work; Trying my patience, my confidence, my humility, and my willpower. I have wanted to give up on my morals, throw in the towel and walk out. I have cried more times than I’d like to admit (and in front of people I have no choice but to see again). But tonight, as the rain falls heavy on my window and feeds the ground below, so too does it cleanse my feelings of doubt, my questions of sanity, and my bruised temperament.

I am proud of myself; In this haunting month of October, I stood up to a monster. I looked her in the eye, and said “No more.” She simply rolled those slimey eyes, cackled, and trotted away - seemingly unharmed….But for just one instant, I saw the beasts' tail between her legs…and she wimpered… for JUST ONE MOMENT.

For that I am proud.

"Justice consists not in being neutral between right and wrong, but in finding out the right and upholding it, wherever found, against the wrong." Theodore Roosevelt

Business in the front - Party in the back

No - I’m not going to write about some funky new sex position (sorry to say the “S” word, dad), I was referring to hairstyles. I was talking to a great friend of mine today and decided I finally had warn him about my new hair color as I will be visiting Denver this up-coming weekend.

A few weeks ago, I went to get a new hair color - Copper/Red with Blonde highlights. Well, as I am known to do, I researched and researched where in NM to have it done. Rules? Had to be an Aveda Salon, had to be located in a hip area, and had to come with top-notch references (and some people say I have too high of expectations. No, really - they do…). After weeks of searching I found the crowned jewel, award winning and all! Let me beat you to the punch-line - Crowned jewel of crap!

There was this young girl, we’ll call her Snatchafrass, who looked like she just stepped out of the 80’s but probably hadn’t even been born in the decade she so proudly represented (“Regan, who? Wasn’t he on Laguna Beach?”).

I digress - So she underestimated how much red she needed to make (twice), and consequently thrust three different colors of red upon my cringing scalp. The bottom two weren’t that bad they kinda clicked and looked “radical“. Now the roots - well, lets just say our “tubular” Snacherella created a Bozo the Clown stunt double. I “totally freaked!” The real “heinous” thing about it? Even after I complained she said to me “That’s going to be $145.” “AS IF!”

I didn’t pay her. And the Bozo color, like the clown himself, has faded into obscurity.

Wow, for some completely unknown and unrelated reason, I have an unbearable desire to watch Bill & Ted….and use words with the letter “U”….

:) Sweet dreams
-H